Testing The Waters
How does one know when their family is complete? For me personally, health concerns have dictated that my family is perfect just the way it is. For others though, the question is always there in the back of the mind: Do we try just one more time? Twice more? Stop? Go all Dugger and just never stop?
I remember when both of my boys were newborns my one cousin wouldn’t touch them, hold them or even go terribly near them. She had just left the “infant” phase on her fourth child and really didn’t want to be tempted to feel that newborn pull again (which is almost tangible in a mother’s body when she holds a baby, no matter how old her own children are!)
My sister’s friend from out west is visiting for a few days, we went to the airport yesterday to pick her up. She was travelling with her elderly grandmother and her newborn baby girl. I’ll admit, as soon as I saw that precious Baby Girl at the airport all snuggled up asleep in her wrap, I wanted to hold her and smell that intoxicating newborn scent. As a mother I couldn’t wait to get my hands on a baby again, however, as a mother I was also smart enough to let a sleeping baby lie!
I did get a chance to hold her later and it was as sweet a sensation as I could hope for, I felt my own desire to have another baby awakened and had to tamp it down very firmly! I even think that my husband felt it a little bit when he got the chance to snuggle with that tiny baby girl (all his children are boys so little girls are a novelty for him!) The look on his face as he held her was absolutely breathtaking and heartbreaking at the same time!
This week has been insanely busy with getting ourselves ready to move. We have finally reached the point where we are expecting a call from the building inspector at any moment telling us that we’re allowed to move in! Terribly exciting! I spent one whole day clearing out the bedrooms, some of the furniture is already gone, half the clothes have been packed and moved. I went into the boy’s bedroom and cleared out everything, too-small clothes, baby blankets (that I just couldn’t get rid of, they’re packed!), stripped and washed the bedding on the bed and in the crib, vacuumed like my life depended on it, I even washed the curtains! I was a machine! Seeing how the boys both sleep in my bed I decided to leave the crib where it is for now (while we list the house we need to have at least some furniture in here) but I sent my husband to the dump with a load of crap including the twin mattress that is Big Boy’s bed (although only on paper, he’s never spent a full night on it!) When bedtime came that night and I sent the boys in to get changed for bed I heard a loud voice say, “Mommy…My bedroom is empty!” (I’m thinking, “Yes darling, it’s called clean“)
We have scheduled time on Sunday for a family dinner at the farm. My sister’s friend (who’s mother is my mother’s best friend as are their mothers!) and her family have been very close to our family for many, many years. We used to stay with them for a few weeks every summer when they lived on the East Coast (I actually learned to drive on one of our treks out there. Learning to drive in an ’86 GMC Suburban full of kids singing campfire songs at the top of their lungs while pulling a camper through Canadian summer road construction makes it pretty easy to face almost anything on the roads!)
In addition to the family members who want to see our visiting Western Mommy and Baby Girl, my sister’s other friend and her children will be joining us. She’s known my sister since high school and they’re still quite close (thank goodness, she’s a dentist so it’s very handy to have her around!), her eldest boy is the same age as my Little Man and my sister’s Princess and she has a littler boy who is about 10 months old. The reason my sister invited her to the party is because Doctor Momma wants to get near Baby Girl in order to determine if she is wanting/needing/yearning for another baby.
I guess she and her husband are undecided about whether their family is complete yet so she figures she’ll see if the “newborn pull” is there when she holds the baby. I could have told her that it will always be there, and saved her having to bring a salad! I can’t see any way that a mother of two boys would be able to snuggle a 10-week-old baby girl and not want to try again, I was having a hard time myself and I don’t have that kind of decision to make!
I will never again be able to snuggle my own newborn baby (but I get some pretty incredible “big baby” snuggles now so that’s okay!) but I will take every opportunity available to snuggle someone else’s newborn! You get the baby smell in your nose, those tiny hands tangled in your hair, that little mewling noise like a kitten and you think, “God, that’s wonderful!” Then you get the other baby smell in your nose, the tiny hands pulling your hair out by the roots and the bloodcurdling cry of a hungry baby and you think, “God, it’s wonderful that I can give this one back!”